The Naked Truth--The Confidence to be Naked!

How important is it to be naked during sex? Is it a MUST? Is it a maybe? Is it only when you're drunk?


Alot of people are shy when it comes to their nudity, even in front of their boyfriends or even when they're by themselves. That's perfectly normal, not everybody wants to running along the beach butt naked and I understand that. I don't either. Nor do I want to see anybody doing that.


Anyways,


A lot of women harbor numerous insecurities about their bodies and it keeps them from being 100% comfortable with their bodies. Why??


Is it because the media tells us that we need to look a certain way in order to be defined as sexy? Is it because we're afraid that men are going to run away screaming after the clothes come off? (which they won't--unless there's a jungle of hair peeking out of your panties that may or may not be associated with a repugnant smell--but more about that later.)


Now don't get me wrong, everybody has their own level of "comfortableness"...some people feel comfortable running around the house nude or almost nude, where some people only get nude for a shower. And that's fine, but my blog is about being comfortable with yourself, and not being afraid to share that with a significant other.


First off, having insecurities is normal and many women have them (I think it's embedded in our genes) and I think that some men have them too.


We've all been there. The lights are dim (of course), your clothes start to slowly make their way to the floor and then you scramble to get underneath the covers so that he won't see that you're breasts aren't perfectly aligned. After the act is done, you opt to hide yourself behind a pillow or wrap yourself with the sheets mummy-style and awkwardly shuffle your way into the bathroom.


Having somebody see you naked for the first time is pretty nerve wrecking. (more so for you, than him) It's like you're opening up to him (no pun intended) and showing him a private side of you, that not everybody else gets to see (I hope). It's special and he better be lucky that he made it that far.


Don't let your insecurities get the best of you!


The key is to have confidence. Confidence with a capital C. Men love women who exude confidence and are comfortable in their own skin. Nothing is worse than having a woman who is always complaining about her body. How can he love you when you don't love yourself? So that's the first step. Men are visual creatures and they will get turned on the moment they see your....um...lovely "womanly parts". He's going to think you're sexy no matter what, but you have to be comfortable with yourself before you can frolick in your birthday suit.


Stop worrying about how your butt looks or how your stomach pokes out or if he's going to be satisfied with the size of your breasts--ALL DAT. (On a side note, don't tease him with the illusion of big breasts with your wonderbra...a little padding is okay, but to look like a C cup when you're really an A...not a good look.)


Come to terms with your cellulite and stretch marks...they're just a fact of life. As a cutie with a booty, I've had to deal with those issues myself and yeah, it kinda messed with my self-esteem a little bit, but I got over it. I'm happy to have the figure that I have. Plus I never got any complaints from my man.


And if your man has a problem with your flaws, then it's time to get a new man. Hell, he ain't perfect, but do we point out each and every one of his flaws?

So feel good about yourself and if you don't; then do something that will make you feel good about yourself. Go workout at the gym--but don't sweat your hair out. Go get your hair done--maybe after you go to the gym. Go shopping--only if you're not broke.

Anyways,

Confidence IS sexy. It comes from the inside out. (And you can be sexy at any size, shape, shade or color). When you have confidence, it shows.

Love the skin you're in.

Keep Your Juice Box Clean

A healthy vagina is a happy vagina.

Ladies, you cannot SLACK on this one.

As an essential part to a woman’s body, keeping your vagina clean is a MUST.
To some, the vagina is viewed as an embarrassing subject, which is why it’s sometimes neglected of basic care. Although it may be a complex organ, it is not that hard to clean.

Eat healthy. Drink cranberry juice and eat yogurt. It prevents yeast and bladder infections. I also heard somewhere that if you drink pineapple juice, you will “taste” like pineapples…hmm…more about that later. As always, drink lots of water.

It’s all about the hygiene. Don’t let your sweet spot turn sour, boo. NOT CUTE. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ (which is why we have discharge), but you’re still going to have to put some effort in. I know that I shouldn’t have to say this, but all of us don’t live the same lifestyle, so please shower regularly. Using regular soap and water will do just fine. If you like to douche then do your thing, although I do know that most doctors are strongly against it. I would avoid using scented sprays/soaps. Try taking baths every once in a while. As college students, I know that we are always on the go, but letting your vajayjay soak in water for thirty minutes can only help you, not hurt you. Take a rest from the cute, lacey panties. You know the “date” thongs or the “he’s going to get it tonight” panties. Even though your man might complain, there is nothing wrong with wearing cotton underwear. They are reliable, cheap and you don’t have to worry about them getting torn up in the wash. Mostly importantly the cotton allows your vagina to breathe, and maintain good skin around the area. I also suggest going commando (not wearing any underwear) when sleeping. However, I would think twice if you live in small quarters with a roommate. That would just be awkward.

Wrap-it-up. Always partake in “safety sex” because no one wants an infected “punanny”…but don’t panic (too much) if you get infected with a sexually transmitted disease; you are not the first and you won’t be the last. If you do contract a disease, contact your doctor ASAP. If not, there could be serious problems down the road.
I cannot stress the importance of getting tested. It may be a scary reality, but you have to do what you have to do. Remember ignorance is not always bliss.
Even though most STDs (with the exception for genital herpes) are curable, the emotional scars can last forever.

On that note, make sure that you visit your gyno regularly. It is so important to get checked out and also get tested. Getting a pap smear may not be the most comfortable activity in the world, but as my mother would say, “it’s all part of being a woman.” Watch out for infections, such as yeast infections, urinary tract infections (UTI), and bacterial vaginosis.

Cleaning up after sex is just as important as cleaning before it. Whether you wear a condom or not, the post sexual romp can be kind of messy for all involved. Don’t just slide your panties back on after the act….that’s just nasty. Sex can be very spontaneous and can sometimes catch you off guard, but if you know that it’s going to happen try to be a little prepared. Bring an extra pair of panties and baby wipes, unless you want to wake up still covered in last night’s juices. Ew. Try wiping up with a warm washcloth. If you want to keep the romantic vibe going, invite your lover boy into the shower with you. (And don’t be ashamed to wear your shower cap…we can’t all wash and go like “Becky” can.)

I also cannot tell you how imperative it is to pee after sex. (It’s also important to pee before sex, but I digress). Peeing after sex washes bacteria out of the urethra, helping to prevent bladder infections and UTIs. If it stings when you pee (after sex) don’t freak out. If the sex was rough, your vagina may be a little irritated or raw, causing it to burn when the urine gets on it. This usually heals after 24 hours.

So remember ladies, there are very simple rules to keeping your juice box clean and never be embarrassed or ashamed about your goodies.

All in all, be nice to your vajayjay and your vajayjay will be nice to you.

It's a Learning Experience

Bad sex sucks. And is such a huge waste of time.

We’ve all been there. Not really being in the mood. Only doing it so he would shut the hell up (for those of you in a relationship). And that’s when I asked myself why. Why, do we as women, put up with lousy partners, when men can keep going without a care in the world?

It isn’t difficult to satisfy a man. Men know how to get themselves off and women know how to get men off, but when it comes to satisfying a woman, things can get a little…tricky. Most people have a vague sense that women respond to extended foreplay, and that they're often more orgasmic through methods other than intercourse. But when it comes to experience with specific and varied techniques, or real comfort handling the female body, a lot of males and females are still groping in the dark.

It takes skill to please a woman. Duh, right? However, we can’t put all the blame on the dudes. Women’s bodies can be a bit of a mystery, even to a lot of young women. Consider the fact that 40 percent of college women don't even pleasure themselves.

Think about investing in a vibrator, or maybe a detachable shower head (for those of you lucky enough to live off campus). You also might want to know your roommate’s schedule, so she (or he) doesn’t stumble into an awkward situation.

How are you going to teach somebody to please you, when you don’t know how to do it yourself?

Now, trust me, I understand that that kind of thing isn’t for everybody…but I’m just saying.

Once you learn what makes you happy don’t be afraid to communicate your desires with your man/boo/bootycall. But don’t intimidate him or scare the poor boy off. Have patience. Remember, practice makes perfect.
If it hurts or you feel uncomfortable during the act, tell him to stop and try another position. Never feel pressured to do anything that you don’t want to do.

And also no faking. Faking is like lying and lying is like cheating and when you FAKE AN ORGASM, you are cheating yourself out of the satisfaction that you deserve. FAKING AN ORGASM isn’t going to make him stop whatever he’s doing. It’s just going to make him do whatever annoying thing he is doing even harder. Longer. Leaving less time to vary from the script. So just say no to faking.

College is an amazing opportunity to figure out who you are as an adult woman, free of your parents and high school boyfriend. This can mean anything from pledging to volunteering or changing your taste in partners. Try abstinence for awhile. Read erotic books. (Zane anyone?) Promise yourself that if you choose to have sex, it will be good and good for you, physically and emotionally.

As always, be true to yourself, be safe and wrap it up.

Just The Tip

Everyone knows the popular game, "Just the Tip". You and your boy are fooling around to the point where he feels like he just can't hold back any longer.

With no condom in sight, or mind, he asks you if he can put it in (sans condom).

"Just the tip...," he says.

Yeah right.

As if he's gonna just put the tip of his penis in (yes I said penis), take it out and be satisfied.

As if just putting in the tip, saves you from possibly getting an STD or getting pregnant.

There is such a thing called precum, ladies and gents.

It is a clear secretion that seeps from the urethra (a.k.a the tip) when he is sexually excited.

Precum is a normal part of the "male sexual experience". lol.

While the risks of getting pregnant from precum are little bit lower, you are still at a full time risk of contracting venereal diseases and HIV.

Like I was saying before, once he puts the tip in, I highly doubt that there's any turning back.

And now you two are on your way to sweaty blissfuldom (or not).

Once you're done, and the high comes down, and you're laying back with your boo (or not) and smiling and satisfied (or not), when realization smacks you in the face.

"Damn, we ain't use no condom!" (Cause, really, who uses proper english in times like these?)

You just had unprotected sex. Possibility of an STD, HIV, HPV or a BABY-just because your itch needed a scratch? Okay, maybe that wasn't a good comparison, but either wayy...IT'S NOT A GOOD LOOK.

And then he tells you not to worry, because he "pulled out".

There are many methods of birth control (pills, the Depo shot, the vaginal ring), and hopefully you had enough sense to get a prescription to one of those. And remember, you have to take that stuff regularly for it to work in your favor.

However, despite what you (or your man) might think the "pull and pray" method is NOT a very reliable one.

So...

A) even if you are taking birth control it's still very possible that you could contract a nasty infection (or even give one to somebody else). Not cool. You don't want that to be part of your learning experience.

And...

B) if you didn't use a condom, nor use any type of birth control...well the word PANIC comes to my mind. I know everybody makes mistakes, but....you better get to the nearest pharmacy and obtain Plan B (it's an emergency contraceptive, but more about that later) and immediately schedule an appointment with your gyno or the clinic to get tested. This is for those of you that are on birth control as well.

Next thing you know, you find yourself praying double time and repenting in church (even though you haven't been since Easter) like nobody's business.

While there are a lot of sexual games that you and your man can play, "Just the Tip" should not be one of them.

Be smart people, always be prepared.